A Surplus of Words

Welcome back! I imagine that that's what the entire internet is thinking....okay, maybe that's a bit of a stretch. But that's the greeting I'll give myself. Welcome back to the conversation I used to have with myself--the dumping sorting and cleaning of the surplus of words and thoughts that I used to pin down here to come back and revisit sometimes, that sometimes people I know would see and share in...but mostly just for my own benefit. I live in a very busy, noisy and fast paced world....mostly in silence. The dogs and cats and gurgle of the fish tank don't offer much in the way of conversation. The kids are busy with school, friends, activities, and the ever present glowing screens that seem to occupy their minds. Joe spends his awake hours at work and while I sleep...so my favorite person to sit and talk with isn't available. I remember the hours we would spend on the phone when we were dating...some conversations would go on for 3, 4, 5 or more hours. Mostly spent while we were both occupied with other things--he would make me crazy because he would have 2 radios (one loud and angry boy music, one talk radio/news) and a video game dividing his attention...but somehow he always seemed to be in tune to what I was saying. We would set off on a topic--Joe would open the conversation with concentrated opinions, and then let me spin off of it. He wouldn't carry the conversation--left me to do most of the work, and often I felt like it was a series of monologues with passive "uh-huh"s and "okay"s....and often it is still that way. Sometimes it is frustrating, but that's the way we have always been....I have a flood of words to purge, and he has some solid boulders tossed in the incessant stream to redirect the flow of conversation. So that brings me here. I need someplace to open the floodgates, to purge the surplus of words...because otherwise, left unsaid, they seem to dry up and clutter my mind with dusty refuse...and that makes the next brilliant thought more difficult to express....and all the thoughts are brilliant....no...really...I'm sure of it.