My southern fried ass

My two best freinds Meena and Monique are black girls.
I start off this way because I don't want to come off as a racist or bigioted in any way.
And Monique is a black girl, who is mormon, married to an asian guy, has a white jewish grandfather, and an insaine black grandmother. She's so cool.

That said (and no, I don't know why it had to be said, it just did...)

Today I am frying chicken. My husband started off frying the chicken, but he didn't like the way it was working in his deep fryer, and didn't want to pan fry it, so I am now pan frying the other half of the chicken. Nevermind that his prep work up to this point isn't how I would have done it, I can work with it.

I had never fried chicken until a couple of years ago---that's when my inner black girl was starting to emerge. (there were and are other girls in there too)
We were living in Des Moines, and my sweet darling husband had just bought me my dream car.. a '74 Cadillac Eldorado Convertible, and I was cruising around town like the "girls" from To Wong Foo---and was it the drag queens who were impressed?
No silly, of course not...it was the black guys.
I got a lot of attention (a LOT) which was okay, because my husband was very busy, and didn't dish out the compliments all that often. These guys were more generous, and whenever I had had enough, I would burn a few galons of gas and drive away.
My friend Meena said it was the ass---it would make a black girl proud. Poor Meena was built like an Indianola girl...tallish and thin thin thin...no ass at-all.

So, I would drive my black ass-trapped in a white girl- around in my car, getting compliments from very friendly black men with shiny Cadillacs of thier own.

And where was I going with this?

Oh yeah (sorry, had to take a break for frying)
I got an invite to Meena's birthday party at her cousin's house...Hazel, Meena's mom was going to be cooking.
I am sooo there.
I had had Hazel's fried chicken at the block party, and Oh My God...so so so so so tasty.
So we get there, and there is a huge pot of greens, dressing, chicken, ham, corn bread, and pie.
I ate and ate and ate.
Meena's family watched me in awe---they apparently hadn't noticed the black girl trying to bust outa my ass end until then.
Her cousin Kenneth took me aside and said "Are you sure you're not a little black? "Cause you're not shaped white..."
I giggled and said "Neither is my husband"

Ahhhhhh.

~later that day.....

So anyway, you'd think I would have had some decent southern cooking before I was 27, but no...
And the really sad thing is, my mom's family is from Missouri.
Speaking of, my white trash aunt (missing teeth and springer drama) and her 16 year old daughter, her new bastard baby and the baby-daddy are all coming to my house tonight.
I plan to feed them cold fried chicken, corn bread, baked beans, fried potatoes, and pineapple upside-down cake (complete with pecans)

~ many hours later.....
and that went well.....I need to learn to finish a post when I start it...