I'm watching a baby today for a mommy who is job hunting. The state is going to pay me for watching this (very sweet 4 month old) baby as long as the mom continues to turn in 20 job applications a week.
I am of 2 minds about this-
1. This is good money. $12 for a half day, $24 for a full one. My life isn't much changed by having her here, and what change I have is for the better (I get to play with a baby...come on). When her brother comes over, the pay doubles. He's 7 and runs amok with our other kids. Easy money.
2. Am I enabling this woman? Is it bad if I am? There was a time that being a single mother was the exception. Anything that could be done to avoid being without a husband was done. Even widows usually re-married. Should I be drawing money from the welfare state, and thereby supporting its existnce? How many generations would it take to reverse the crumbling moral fiber of our country if the taxpayers stopped paying the bills for these women and they had to keep themselves afloat?
Now, I would not support in any way an elimination of the existing funding for the families who are using it. That's just mean. But maybe if we stopped letting people into the programs, eventually the need for the programs would slow.
I dunno. It's just a shame. This baby could (and should) have had the chance to be raised in a loving 2 parent household. It's just easier that way, nicer, better.
Yes, abuse, fighting, anger, hostility, drugs and all the ugly things in the world make it an impossibility.
(as a sidebar, the mom is a really nice person, a fantastic mother and is really trying to find a job to support herself and her kids. And the baby's dad was abusive. There's no fixing their world, so I'm just going to keep quiet and help out where I can)
Why can people just be nice and responsible and pleasant?
(retreating back into my single income 2 parent houselold conservative Christian happy hidey hole in midwestern sub-suburbia now)
Bite me.
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3 comments:
I imagine it is hard to place a child up for adoption, even if it is the more compassionate thing to do. I was raised by two parents, and it looks like hubbie and I will be childless forever. And the adoption world has few children - unless we go to another country.
Sorry about my Thursday post - I posted twice Friday (today), partly because the story was disturbing. Disturbing for me as well. The other post is much more important.
Don't worry--at least it didn't sit well with you either...I couldn't shake the uncomfortable feeling--glad (I guess) that I was feeling it from you.
:)
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